Of Marauders and Madness
by Punchbuggie
Summary: Something odd happens while the marauders contemplate their newest prank for Snivellus--that is, quite a few somethings.


**Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine**

"Okay, we're getting bad at this. Snivelly is starting to figure us out. Better plans, anyone?"

The Marauders sat huddled around a small table in the Common Room soon after returning from Hogsmeade. In front of then we their purchases from the joke shop sprawled over the table. James was giving his friends a pep talk about how they needed better tricks for "Snivelly", Sirius rubbed his hands together mischievously, Remus fidgeted, resisting the urged to alphabetize the joke shop goods, and Peter did the potty dance.

"We could make him a love potion and give the other half to Mrs. Norris," suggested Sirius, with an evil grin.

Remus made a rather offending noise that sounded something like, "Pfft."

"Padfoot, we did that last week. What did I tell you? You _never _use the same prank twice."

"And you never use a prank on someone if you've already used it on their twin. With the exception, of course, of the classic _twins-each-drink-one-half-of-a-love-potion _prank," remembered James.

Sirius chuckled. "Classic."

Peter was starting to vibrate. The other three looked at each other, and each scooted one foot away from him.

"Anyway, I have a good one," said James. The others leaned in. Sirius pushed Peter back slowly. "Well, almost. It's on the tip of my tongue. It involves lava lamps."

Sirius looked confused. "What's a lava lamp?"

"Never mind," sighed James. "The idea's gone now, anyway. How about you, Moony?"

And that was when everything went very weird, very fast.

First, Sirius broke into a random polka dance. Then, Peter ran around the room on his hands and knees, saying, "Chee—ee—ee--eese. Chee—ee—ee—eese."

Observing Sirius, Remus gripped the arms of his chair in horror. Lily Evans walked into the room, holding two bottles of butterbeer.

"Hey, thanks, Evans!" exclaimed James, jumping up to reach for one of the bottles.

"No-o-o. Mine. All _mine!_" declared Lily maniacally, pouring both bottles into her mouth.

Once again, Remus looked around the room in terror.

"Chee—ee--ee--eese!" Peter bit Remus's ankle. He shrank back into his chair.

Lily let out a strange roar and began running around the Common Room, drinking anything that was a liquid. This included Remus's Potions homework, a potion that made one's ears grow.

Remus was in the corner of his chair was this point. Peter still crawled around the room with an obsession with cheese, Sirius still danced the Polka around his chair... but then he saw something that drove his over the edge.

Lily was kissing James.

Remus jumped up and screamed, running for the door, but when he got there, someone was standing in that doorway.

"Going somewhere, Lupin?" sneered Severus Snape.

Everyone in the room stopped their outrageous activities and laughed hysterically.

"Boy, did we get you, Moony!" howled Sirius.

Remus blushed like a fire hydrant with a sunburn. "You _what--"_

"That'll teach you to ditch us for _prefect duties_!" mocked James. "Come on, Moony, you're a _Marauder. _That goes against _everything _we've taught you!"

Lily laughed and shrugged. "I've done my part." And with a satisfied smile, she slapped James and said, "Don't get used to it, Potter."

As they settled into their seats again, Sirius said, "You know, I needed that chance to cut loose a little."

"Of course Sirius needed a chance to cut loose," Remus told James sarcastically. "Because usually he's just _so _studious. It's _got _to be unbearable."

"Hey, no hard feelings, right, Moony?" said Sirius.

Remus nodded. "Rule number two of being pranked: 'Get over it and wash your filthy hair.'"

"Correct," said James. "But really, that was directed at Snivellus."

"Speaking of whom, how did you get him to help you?" asked Remus.

"Oh—right!" said Sirius. "I almost forgot our little bargain, Sniv. Well, here you go."

And he handed over the briefcase of Snape's underpants.


End file.
